Get kittens they said…

So it’s been exactly 1 week and 3 days, 2 vet trips and a many sleepless nights with 2 wonderful amazing beautiful kittens…

Let me take you back at least a year ago. My boss, love her, absolutely adores the new kittens she has received from her son. She found out that there was one left and started to grind me down to have her. I was adamant that we were not going to have anymore pets (we have previously had 7 bearded dragons, only 1 remains). I was so upset when we lost each and every one of the 6, we both were, and I had said ‘that’s it, no more. I can’t handle this.’ which is why I refused to get any other animals.

Of course it took all of about 3 hours of saying no, to let me check with the landlord if we can have pets… lo and behold, they came back ‘not a problem’. At this a point I should probably say that my partner is nuts about animals. Any animal. Will request on a daily basis some type of animal to live in our tiny rented bungalow, yeah a goat is really going to be beneficial babes…

It was now a waiting game for my boss, to let me know if I could have the kitten, before I said anything to my other half and get her hopes up. The next day my boss comes in a very sad look on her face confirming that the Kitten had now been placed in their forever home (silent whoop of joy, I’m not ready for that kind of commitment to an animal just yet), thank GOD I didn’t say a word to my partner she would have been so upset.

That’s it no kitten, I’d managed to get out of that and thought that would be the last of that idea…boy was I wrong.

Fast forward to December, now don’t get me wrong the idea has never been dropped and anyone who is friends with me and my partner will at any opportunity, drop in a ‘why don’t you get a cat, dog, goat’ etc ‘it’s totally worth it, they’ll love you forever…blah blah blah’. All of course, aimed at me, and my partner sitting there smugly. My colleague comes in, a bee in her bonnet exclaiming ‘ that’s it, I just need a kitten. I’ve put it off for too long’. Sits at her computer and furiously types away. Me, I keep my head low as I know whats coming.

‘OMG, will you look at these, they are gorgeous!’. Putting off the inevitable I take a slow funeral walk over to her screen and there they are. These beautiful black and white little kitties. Now I’m not denying that they are not  cute and cuddly, not at all. I just don’t think I’m ready, me.  My boss, who is very much a spur of the moment person, picks up her phone and proceeds to dial the number and find out if they are still available, yes all of them are.  An arrangement to view them is discussed then at this point my boss has taken a picture of the website, the kittens and has her finger on the send button to my partner. I lose it a little as I am still adamant it is not going to happen. So she deletes the message and we continue with our respective roles…or try to. All I can hear is oooooosss and aaaaahhhhhs from the one in the corner!

That’s when a crack appeared. I asked the question, ‘how many are available? get the ad back up.’ That crack grew as I saw ‘Ludo’. He was just sooooooo cute and then we scrolled across there was ‘Petunia’. Well, I thought, one might be a good idea. I said to the one in the corner, find out if Ludo is still available… one swift text later confirmed that they were all still available, boss lady piped up, ‘I think you both need to go and see them now before they all get claimed.

A hop skip and a ride in the Boss Lady’s nice car (ahem Range Rover) we arrived at the house. I should point out at this part of my story I am very excited about the prospect of getting a kitty (considering I was very against it), but I was thinking surely one would be lonely right? What am I doing, seriously it’s not a crack that appeared, I have now obviously lost my senses, two? really. But when I saw them both I fell in love, I mean how could you not….

First Meeting.

One is not amused

So, basically I cracked completely. They were to be picked up on Christmas Eve for my partners surprise………eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk, now to keep the secret.

As you can imagine keeping any secret is hard from a loved one, when all you want to do is blurt out everything, but noooooooooo couldn’t do that. As I cracked, I was determined to keep this as secret as possible but it was hard. Especially when all our said ‘friends’ would bring up at any opportunity to have a pet, and also Christmas was just around the corner.

The same night I had put the deposit down, I did not sleep well. Obviously I had acted irrationally and in my sleep I was processing the day’s event and bing! Eyes open. WIDE AWAKE, 3AM, are you F’ing serious! At this point I thought ok maybe two is pushing it, should have gone for one. But how can I decide between the two they are both so gorgeous and each have their own little quirks……arrrrgggghhhhh…too late.

The three days leading up to d day, collecting the kitties.

Issue One, day one.

Our really good friends L&B also have cats. Need I say anymore…. Well, we were spending the day with them, the whole day. As soon as we got in the car B started. ‘I really think you should have a kitten(s), they are so loving and they very independent’ (ahem really, I don’t think soooooo I haven’t been able to leave anything out in fear of claws or teeth gnawing at them and I mean I have to feed them daily! sorry back to the past…)  again blah blah blah. Heard it all before (but they didn’t know, inside I was chuckling), keeping a very straight face, I turned around and basically listed all the things I could, to deter away from having any cats; they smell, the shit and piss everywhere, they have fleas, we only live in a bungalow etc… and I thought I managed to close the subject. Nope, WRONG. It felt like every other conversation was about having a pet, mainly a cat, it would be so awesome! I think by hour 5, B could sense my frustration of this conversation and swiftly stopped talking about it.

They couldn’t believe it when we told them… apparently I’m a very good liar.

Issue 2, day 2.

Who loves social media eh…wake up and log on to good ole facecrack and the love of my life decides to ‘tag’ me in a don’t forget to get ready to buy a goat for your girlfriend in March post. Face Palm. I mean OK I can just ignore that, however, one of the said so-called friends T.A decided to comment. Again, any excuse, I mean any excuse to ENCOURAGE her to get a new animal is ridiculous! This went on for hours, ping….a new notification………ping….ping. I mean I’m literally this > — < close to caving and just telling them so they will all just shut up! No. I’m not giving in.

T.A wasn’t best pleased once confirmed kittens had been procured…’can’t visit now, I’m allergic..’ whoops…

Last issue, last day before completion.

This was courtesy of our lil Teep. Again good ole facecrack (think I may need to deactivate…oh wait too late I gave in!!) tagged me in another post… not far off the mark either.  It was the none of my presents have barked yet, this is disappointing…I mean come on! One more day then that would be it no more getting annoyed at all the people who think it’s hilarious to wind me up constantly about getting a pet. I think (I may have blocked it out, it just got too much) I just ignored these completely and tried to ignore they chuckling from my other half and the constant pings of justification from Teep. Thank you.

Completion Day.

OMG it’s here the day has arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can not sit still. I just want to get them then this whole ordeal will be over. But its the getting them home part which could be a problem. So this year, god knows why, my partners work decide that Christmas Eve will be a ‘Mental Health’ day, basically a day off without using holiday, I mean how unlucky can I be. How do I get her out of the bungalow and sneak these kittens in. I mean this was one of my ‘sleepless nights’ conundrum… what to do. But luck was on my side and she was out for a couple of hours, just enough time time get them and set up the bungalow for when she got home.

Well as you can imagine, trying to calmly execute a plan and actually doing it are two very different things. I wanted to video the moment to cherish and let all of out so called FRIENDS know the moment she got her most desired wish. Oh no no no. One cat struggling to get out of my arms, one hand trying to press record on the phone and the other arm…oh wait I only have two, frantically running in circles to keep both kittens where she could see them when I pressed record. Nope. Didn’t happen. In the end I’m on the floor on my knees, phone thrown from hand and two squirming kittens at my chest…’Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday’. Not as romantic as I hoped but she did cry a little so it was worth it.

Phew it’s over.

Well we are so in love with these little creatures. Running around, clawing at the sofas, pooing in places that are not allowed oh and weeing.. all the reasons I listed not to have kittens…WHAT HAVE I DONE.

In all fairness though…look at them

Fast forwarding to 1 week and one day. It was all going very well. They had both settled in, starting to come out of their shells, proper little personalities. I neglected to mention that in the process of my ‘secret’ I had purchased a number of kitten toys. These included balls with bells, fabric and bell balls, mice and those sticks with feathers to make the kitten run and jump…jump Ludo did….

1st Vet appointment.

Face palm. So Ludo is the klutz, we were playing (of course it had to be me who participated in this) with the stick and feather… well it was all fun and games then Ludo got hurt. He jumped quite high, it was pretty impressive, but he landed awkwardly on his foot. Panic sets in, come on boy, walk it off you got this.  Nope. Not walking it off, not even placing his paw on the floor. FECK. this is New years day, emergency call out charge at the Vets and some painkillers and we’re all set. Thank god he didn’t break anything. THANK GOD.

It was a bit like a comedy sketch really, the OMG get to the vets quick, at the vets, is he okay, yes he will be fine ‘ soft tissue damage’, get the BILL, off back home, on the laptop PET INSURANCE.

I have never felt so helpless, he was given his painkillers in a syrup form and we were told that as it is sweet the cats will take it easily – yeah right. I left that with the other half. I’ve seen cats not wanting to take medicine. In fact when I was younger my brother suited and booted literally  – motorcycle helmet, leather jacket and gloves jeans and even boots and our cat still managed to scratch the hell out of him! Oh poor Ludo he did not like that one little bit.

The painkillers knocked him out

Our first visit to the vets was actually planned a few days later but it all got turned around due to the ‘accident’, however, we kept the appointment as another check up for Ludo’s leg and to start the vaccination process for both the babies… WOW cats do not like needles! The sound that came out of their little voice boxes were something out of a horror movie. We have 2 more of these to get through…oh the joy!

Well at least they haven’t been too scarred

Resting from the vaccine
Please don’t fart Petunia

It’s a fact. I cracked.


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